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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Overheard in Glasgow's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, February 25th, 2010
11:50 pm
The back of seven tonight in Glasgow Cental Lower Level.

Two teenage emo kids.

EMO KID MALE: Because I don't love you and you smell.
EMO KID MALE: I had a bath the day, so get it up yi.
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
10:49 am
Aulds, Great Western Road
Man: Erm..do you have erm..like coffee?

Lady behind counter: Coffee?

Man: No..no

Lady: Tea?

Man: No..the other one.

Lady: Umm...cappuccino?

Man: Aye that.

Anyway. A late merry Christmas and happy New Year to all comm members. We've been a bit quiet recently, and I've noticed that Facebook has a group along the same lines here;


Feel free to fuck off there if you fancy! If you would like to straddle both venues like an internet colossus, that is fine too. A bit of community promo mentioning this place in your own journal or other related communities might be a good wee shot in the arm if any of you fancy doing that. It'd be nice to keep this thing ticking over..
Monday, November 30th, 2009
10:34 pm
I just remembered this from a couple of years ago...
...when I was still at college. I heard this one whilst standing outside the front entrance to the building:

Security Guard (speaking to all the smokers gathered at the doors): Could youse all step away from the doors, please!

Beauty student who'd just walked past him (total ned): Want tae no shout in ma ear!

Security Guard: Want tae no walk under ma mooth!

Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
3:19 pm
pure dead brilliant
In the cinema on Sunday night, watching 'Jennifer's Body' - during the scene where Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried kiss - a ned sitting up the back came out with this little beauty:

"Ah'm gawin tae cum!"

Current Mood: ill
Sunday, November 8th, 2009
6:35 pm
Kelvinbridge subway

'J'aime le cancer, j'adore le cancer.... JE SUIS LE CANCER!'

(Translation: I like cancer, I love cancer... I AM CANCER!)

as spoken by my friend who smokes ALL THE TIME, after picking up a fag end off the ground that she'd just dropped and continuing to smoke it.
Saturday, November 7th, 2009
3:02 pm
remembered from a few weeks back
During the Merchant City fesitval, at a French market on the Candleriggs.

Customer: "Whit's yer name pal?"
French stallholder: "I am sorry, my English is not good"
Customer: "Aye ah ken! ECOSSE!"

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
9:20 am
9.15am Train From Central Station
American teenager sitting with his chum has just said "Oh my gosh! I cant believe that I've now been to all the major cities in Scotland now.....EVEN Paisley!"

Current Mood: amused
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
5:22 pm

Buchanan Street

"What we need to do is, we get that lassie, put her on your bed, and buy her a nice one."
"Buy her one?"
"Buy, give, what's the difference?"

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
10:17 pm

Pub on Sauchiehall Street:

'My dad is Grace Jones.'

and better

'Ganesh is a god...like Ozzy Osbourne.'

Sunday, October 11th, 2009
8:44 pm

Kelvinhaugh Place:

'I've got mystery wetness on me.'
Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
7:56 pm


'I'm telling you as a friend: swallow. Swallow and enjoy it.'
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
1:53 pm
Byres Rd:

'I WANT A PILLOW! I'm very disappointed!'

Further along Byres Rd:

'...At least you're not fucking your mother.'
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
2:37 pm

Different pub on Sauchiehall Street, Friday night. Two fellas are sitting together, clearly on a date. My friend, hereafter X, starts drunkenly coming on to one of them.

X:   Don't you fancy me? You've been giving me the eye

  I haven't.

X:   You have! You've been giving me the eye all night!

man:   I haven't been gving you the eye,

X:   Why not?!

man:   I'm gay.

X:   You like men?

man (poor man):   Yes.

X:   I'm quite flat chested, why can't you just pretend?!
2:30 pm

Women's toilets, Friday night, pub on Sauchiehall Street.

cubicle 1:   
I can't pull up my trousers!

cubicle 2:   ...You're not wearing any trousers.

cubicle 1:   You're such a good friend!
Monday, September 14th, 2009
2:45 pm
While walking back to someone's flat in Kelvinhaugh, we (six girls) came across two charming gentlemen on the other side of the street who proclaimed the legend:


with accompanying motions.

And they say romance is dead...
Sunday, September 6th, 2009
11:21 pm
I was visiting Glasgow at the start of the month (from Dublin) and a few of us were walking down Argyle St about 10.30 on a Friday night - two guys, two girls. As we were overtaking another two girls we hear a shout from across street - "Here lookit those four lassies wi them two fellys, here ye wanna be goin wi me doll - AH CAN LICK MAH OWN EYEBROWS!"

That got a belly laugh out of us :)
11:15 pm
On argyle street, outside M&S
Two young girls of dubious fashion sense pushing an empty pram, leeringly to an equally sketchily clad young man walking the other way: "You wanna give me something to put in it?", gesturing to pram.
Saturday, September 5th, 2009
5:45 pm
On train at Partick
Father to toddler: Are you sad? Are you suicide sad?
5:22 pm
Just remembered about this one I overheard a couple of weeks ago...
I went out with my friend to The Ark and I was in the (female) toilets washing my hands when all I heard was the sound of the bathroom door swinging open and then a man's voice shouting, "OOPS. . .WRANG WAN!"

Current Mood: hungover
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
3:11 pm
Not strictly overheard...
Just had a guy come round to do an electricity survey on our flat. He was chatting about how he used a landlord key to access a house once and was surprised to be greeted with a 'stark bollock naked man'. I cooed sympathetically and he added 'just my luck not to bump into a stark bollock naked woman'.

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