|Thursday, February 25th, 2010|
The back of seven tonight in Glasgow Cental Lower Level.
Two teenage emo kids.EMO KID FEMALE:
OMG WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEE?!?!?!EMO KID MALE:
Because I don't love you and you smell.EMO KID FEMALE:
OMG SO DO YOU!!!!!!!EMO KID MALE:
I had a bath the day, so get it up yi.
|Wednesday, January 13th, 2010|
Aulds, Great Western Road
Man: Erm..do you have erm..like coffee?
Lady behind counter: Coffee?
Man: No..the other one.
Man: Aye that.
Anyway. A late merry Christmas and happy New Year to all comm members. We've been a bit quiet recently, and I've noticed that Facebook has a group along the same lines here;http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=search&gid=63326661251
Feel free to fuck off there if you fancy! If you would like to straddle both venues like an internet colossus, that is fine too. A bit of community promo mentioning this place in your own journal or other related communities might be a good wee shot in the arm if any of you fancy doing that. It'd be nice to keep this thing ticking over..
|Monday, November 30th, 2009|
I just remembered this from a couple of years ago...
...when I was still at college. I heard this one whilst standing outside the front entrance to the building:
Security Guard (speaking to all the smokers gathered at the doors): Could youse all step away from the doors, please!
Beauty student who'd just walked past him (total ned): Want tae no shout in ma ear!
Security Guard: Want tae no walk under ma mooth! Current Mood: tired
|Tuesday, November 10th, 2009|
pure dead brilliant
In the cinema on Sunday night, watching 'Jennifer's Body' - during the scene where Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried kiss - a ned sitting up the back came out with this little beauty:
"Ah'm gawin tae cum!" Current Mood: ill
|Sunday, November 8th, 2009|
'J'aime le cancer, j'adore le cancer.... JE SUIS LE CANCER
(Translation: I like cancer, I love cancer... I AM CANCER
as spoken by my friend who smokes ALL THE TIME, after picking up a fag end off the ground that she'd just dropped and continuing to smoke it.
|Saturday, November 7th, 2009|
remembered from a few weeks back
During the Merchant City fesitval, at a French market on the Candleriggs.
Customer: "Whit's yer name pal?"
French stallholder: "I am sorry, my English is not good"
Customer: "Aye ah ken! ECOSSE!"
|Wednesday, November 4th, 2009|
9.15am Train From Central Station
American teenager sitting with his chum has just said "Oh my gosh! I cant believe that I've now been to all the major cities in Scotland now.....EVEN Paisley!" Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, October 17th, 2009|
"What we need to do is, we get that lassie, put her on your bed, and buy her a nice one."
"Buy her one?"
"Buy, give, what's the difference?"
|Tuesday, October 13th, 2009|
Pub on Sauchiehall Street:
'My dad is Grace Jones.'
'Ganesh is a god...like Ozzy Osbourne.'
|Sunday, October 11th, 2009|
'I've got mystery wetness on me.'
|Wednesday, October 7th, 2009|
'I'm telling you as a friend: swallow. Swallow and enjoy it.'
|Tuesday, October 6th, 2009|
'I WANT A PILLOW! I'm very disappointed!'
Further along Byres Rd:
'...At least you're not fucking your mother.'
|Saturday, October 3rd, 2009|
Different pub on Sauchiehall Street, Friday night. Two fellas are sitting together, clearly on a date. My friend, hereafter X, starts drunkenly coming on to one of them. X:
Don't you fancy me? You've been giving me the eye
You have! You've been giving me the eye all night!man:
I haven't been gving you the eye, X:
You like men?man (poor man):
I'm quite flat chested, why can't you just pretend?!
Women's toilets, Friday night, pub on Sauchiehall Street.
I can't pull up my trousers!cubicle 2:
...You're not wearing any trousers.cubicle 1:
You're such a good friend!
|Monday, September 14th, 2009|
While walking back to someone's flat in Kelvinhaugh, we (six girls) came across two charming gentlemen on the other side of the street who proclaimed the legend:
'YE WANNAE GET BENT OVER THE BONNET OF MAH CAR?'
with accompanying motions.
And they say romance is dead...
|Sunday, September 6th, 2009|
I was visiting Glasgow at the start of the month (from Dublin) and a few of us were walking down Argyle St about 10.30 on a Friday night - two guys, two girls. As we were overtaking another two girls we hear a shout from across street - "Here lookit those four lassies wi them two fellys, here ye wanna be goin wi me doll - AH CAN LICK MAH OWN EYEBROWS!"
That got a belly laugh out of us :)
On argyle street, outside M&S
Two young girls of dubious fashion sense pushing an empty pram, leeringly to an equally sketchily clad young man walking the other way: "You wanna give me something to put in it?", gesturing to pram.
|Saturday, September 5th, 2009|
|Thursday, September 3rd, 2009|
Not strictly overheard...
Just had a guy come round to do an electricity survey on our flat. He was chatting about how he used a landlord key to access a house once and was surprised to be greeted with a 'stark bollock naked man'. I cooed sympathetically and he added 'just my luck not to bump into a stark bollock naked woman'.